the ultimate parody
by scriber of doom
Summary: Parody of the world championships, season 1....all i can say is...poor kai :'
1. Spencer Vs Kai

A blast echoed around BIOVOLT stadium, and the shock waves were felt all around, as the two beyblades slammed into each other. 

"Your going down BITCH!" Spencer shouted.  
Kai said nothing, he was above such things as trash talking. He was calm, he was composed...he had a beyblade sticking out his head!  
Kai gave a womanly shriek as he performed jazz hands.

"GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!" he screamed.

Tyson rushed to his friends aid.and pulled the blade out of his head, there was a small squirt of blood.

"PUT IT IN! PUT IT IN!"

He turned to Spencer who looked slightly scared at his ex-team mates behaviour, but giggled at him never the less.

"you meanie!" Kai whimpered.

There were audiable giggles from the audience.

"are you sure you can spin in the next match?" Tyson asked, trying not to laugh.

"yes" kai choked, wiping the last few tears from his face.

kai then took dragoon from tyson and quickly jammed the blade where dranzer had been in his head.

He turned to Spencer, and scowled at the taller boy.

"oh it is on girlfriend," he snapped his fingers and wiggled his head.

"okay" Spencer said, looking puzzled.

* * *

"VODA IMPACT"

a large collumn of water rose into the air, spraying the audience...who really didn't appreciate it that much.

"hey spencer!" Kai yelled. over the sound of the roaring waves created by Seaborg.

"what?" he replied.

Kai then turned his back on his ex-team mate and then bent over and mooned him. there was a sudden wooshing sound, followed closely by a sharp gasp from the audiance. Spencer had sent Dranzer flying into Kai's left butt cheek. another womanly shriek issued from kai's mouth.  
this made the whole audiance laugh so much that thier heads exploded.  
there was brains,blood and ass everywhere (not,they just wet thier panties)

Kai, defeated, hobbled away to the bench. where Tyson had to extract Dranzer from his arse cheek. He wanted Dragoon back after all, so he merely replaced Dragoon with Dranzer.

* * *

next chapter bryan Vs. ray! stay tuned for more 


	2. Bryan Vs Ray

RAY Vs. BRYAN

* * *

There was a bright, white flash as Falborg slammed into the side of the dish, causing a chunk of the dish to snap and rebound off of the rotating centre right into rays NUTS!

The chinese blader, fell to his knees,groaning in pain. Bryan, being the sadistic bastard that he was, smiled nastily. He loved causing others great pain, Boris had made him like that.

"do it again" Ray choked.

Bryan's smile faded slightly, he wasn't sure if he'd heard ray correctly.

"what?" he asked.

"you know you want to torture me," said ray in a slutty tone.

"well that was the plan but now..." Bryan trailled off looking at Ray in horror, as he began to twist his own nipples.

"OWW, THAT HURTS SO MUCH!" ray screamed.

"well stop twisting your own nipples then!" Bryan yelled, bringing his arms up as if to sheild himself from this terrifying sight.

Bryan getting angry, used his special attack...

"STROBLITZ!!" he screamed, hoping this would silence the creepy bladebreaker.

but as the sickles of sharpened wind cut into Ray, he gave a loud orgasmic moan.

Though it did send Driger out the dish.

* * *

as they were walking back out for round two bryan clung to tala and begged him

"Don't make me fight him again please,"

"you have to bryan," said tala in a motherly voice

So Bryan stood at the foot of the dish, awaiting Rays return.

"hey sailor!"

Bryan almost dropped Falborg at this greeting.

"I'm ready when you are tiger!" cooed Ray.

Bryan turned to his team, all of whom giggled, he cursed them.

this time Bryan's attack was relentless...he hoped that if he just kept stroblitzing Ray he might give up...or...die...Bryan liked the sound of that last one. as he was about to finish ray he heard ray shout

"that's right big boy dominate me all day i love it when you open up a gash!"

bryan puked in the dish and then the sick was shot back at him by the centre he fell backwards blinded by his own vomit. he wiped it away.  
as he stood he said

"FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUTIE!!"

Ray was declaired the winner but he started crying and whimpered

"please come back my one true love."


	3. Tala Vs Tyson

TALA VS. TYSON

* * *

bryan took a seat on the demolition boy's team bench, he was alot paler than usual and muttered constantly about nipples. it was Tala turn next and feeling only a slight twing of fear, he stepped up to the bowl. He watched the bladebreakers and couldn't help but think that they were all really fucked up in the head. He watched as they circle of team members broke and out stepped Tyson.

"i'm taking you on tala!" tyson yelled.

tala thought he was a complete moron but siad nothing.

"and i'm gonna win! then you can give my friends bit beasts back"

"whatever" tala muttered, he wanted this over with quickly so that he could get as far away as possible from these sick fucks.

he looked about tyson trying to guess what his mental problem would be. then from nowhere tyson said

"ok that sounds like a good plan to me!"

tala looked at him and then lifted his arm and they both spun the blades into the dish. tala was still trying to figure out tyson but there was something wierd about him. then as he called out wolborg tyson began pirouette on the spot chanting

"all food tastes better with rabies!"

tala got scared and then tyson screamed

"NOW!"

then dragoon flew into wolborg and caused wolborg to fall out the stadium. then as tala bent down to pick up wolborg tyson shouted

"HE'S PRESENTING!"

tala turned round and scoweled at tyson. then stuck his fingers up as if to say fuck you. tyson then started to spank the air but as he was doing this ray jumped in and so tyson was spanking ray.

"RAY!"tyson shouted angrily, as ray crawled away. "now" he turned to tala"you can give my friends thier bitbeasts back"

tala smiled evily, making tyson feel uncomfortable.

"no, wanna know why?"

"why?"

"because yo mama is so nasty, that she pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh" tala said nastily.

"well yo mama is so fat she bleeds gravy!" tyson retorted.

"yo mama is so fat i had to catch two train and a bus to get on her good side!"

"yo ma-"

"GET ON WITH THE FUCKING MATCH!!" some one in the audience shouted.

"fuck you!" tala screamed.

"BATTY BOY" the same person screamed.

"THAT DOES IT!"tala screamed, and with that he attempted to jump into the audience.

but the security guards pulled him back.

"I'LL TAKE ON ALL Y'ALL BITCHES!!!" he screamed manically.

"calm down tala, and lets get on with the match...i want to finish it quickly...bob the builder is on a 3:30" tyson said, looking down at the hello kitty wrist watch.

"whats bob the builder?" tala asked, looking puzzled.

"you mean you dont get bob the builder here?" tyson asked, horrified at the though of no bob the builder.

"i guess not"

tyson fell to his knee's and screamed:  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" he paused to draw breath and continued."ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

tala rolled his eyes and said:

"lets get on with it!"

* * *

"BLIZZALOG!!" tala screamned.

suddenly wolborg appeared before tyson and with came an icy wind that caused Dragoon to stop spinning.

"go cry to your mama, you little biatch!" tala said,making an L with his finger and thumb, upon his forehead.

tears began to leak from tyson's large eyes, giving him the appearance of a deformed calf. he turned and power walked off to meet his team. as he neared his team, kai said:

"call that a power walk! there were points when both feet were off the ground! thats technically running!!"

this only served to make tyson cry harder.

"back for more?" tala said.

"shut up!" tyson squeaked.

* * *

"WOLBORG!"

"DRAGOON!"

at that point both beasts rose from thier spinning plastic prisons to stare one an other down. there was a pause, then a loud booming voiced called:

"yo mama is so ugly, that when she was born the nurse had to be put down!"

"dragoon?" tyson asked, wide eyed.but the blue dragon ignored him to pre-occupied with wolborg, who responded to dragoons yo mama joke with:

"that was weak!"

"W-T-F?" tala said, staring up at the spirits.

"yo mama is so hairy, that they hired her at the cinema to butter popcorn with her leg hair!" wolborg said, sniggering.

"fight properly!" tala commanded.

wolborg sighed and proceeded to blizzalog dragoon out of the stadium.

"sweet!" tala cried.

"you!" tyson growled, running toward the russian with every intent to harm him.

"go go tala hair chopper!" tala cried.

the two red bangs started to rotate at an extreme rate and they lifted him off the ground out of tysons reach.

"what the hell!?" tyson cried.

"well i am cybernettic!" tala called, giggling at the boys rage.

* * *

DUN DUN DUUUUUN! what will happen next?...:P 


	4. cucumber boat

"Well done Tala!" cried Boris, rubbing his crotch. "I would like to see you in my office later on…say about 5pm!"

"Do I have to Boris, I'm rather tired" Tala squeaked.

"Yes, Tala, you have to….you can rest after we've gotten down to business….I'll even run you a bath" said Boris, playing affectionately with Tala's hair.

Tala turned to leave; as he did Boris slapped his ass.

"Oo Tala you're in for it tonight" Bryan said, smirking at the red head.

"Don't look now Bryan but Ray's eyeing you up" Tala shot at him.

Bryan, even though he was very pale, got even paler, as he turned to look at Ray. Ray was looking at him and rubbing his nipples.

"DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME!!!" Bryan screamed.

"Oh Bryan" said Boris. "I want to see you, when Tala and I have finished conducting our business"

Bryan got even paler. (Is that even possible?)

* * *

Bryan stood outside Boris' office; he could hear Boris grunting and moaning and Tala squealing. Suddenly Tala came running out, in full bondage gear; he even had the little plastic ball in his mouth.

"Shit" Bryan muttered, as he watched the red head run off down the corridor, Bryan observed that he had a very red arse.

"Bryan" Boris called in a seductive manor.

Bryan gave a womanly scream and tried to run but Boris grabbed him by the legs and dragged him into his office.

And that's the last they ever saw of him….

Naw I'm just screwing with you, he re-appeared 5 minutes later….walking abit funny.

Bryan then proceeded to go to the toilet, to rectify his funny walk. He sat down upon the seat and pushed as hard as possible, for a few minutes he had to endure immense pain, suddenly there was a loud popping sound, as a cucumber sailed out his arse.

* * *

Author note: poor Bryan………and Tala…………..but poor Bryan….next chapter max tries to get his bit beast back….but finds it in bad condition. 


	5. max's hunt

As Tyson and Max ran down a long corridor they heard what they thought were screams of pain, but as they got closer to the only door they could hear a weird grunting Tyson kicked the door wide open and caught Spencer with his trousers dropped to his ankles.

"What the hell are you doing?" screamed max , as he looked about the tall Russian he saw something between the Russians legs it was green but covered in a creamy white substance.

"What have you done to my bit beast!?" max yelled

"I was... Just. . . Err. . . bye !" shouted the Russian .

He dropped something out of his hands ripped up his pants and charged out of the door.

"what was that about?" asked Tyson

* * *

Max scratched at his head then looked on the chair that was in front of them there as a penis painted on it and below that there was a single pair of handcuffs and in the centre of it was Draciel.

"Oh my god , what have they done to you?" spoke max in a concerned voice.

"how can I get it out of it I don't know how to pick locks and I cant clean off paint!"

Tyson walked up to max and slapped him

"Get a hold of your self!"

"than.."

SLAP "Snap out of it max!"

"I'm o..."

SLAP

"C'mon snap out of it!"

"TYSON I'M OK, NOW STOP SLAPPING ME PLEASE IT REALLY HURTS SO...!"

SLAP

"that was for shouting at me, now why don't you just grab it the cuffs are not stopping you, its just laying in the middle of them," said Tyson , looking about the blonde boy.

"I just cant they've put handcuffs on it , AND PAINT "

* * *

Will max ever stop being thick will Tyson grab the bit beast find out next chapter 


End file.
